I Can't Lose You Again
by ar-men66
Summary: The sequel of my previous work Mexico. What happens after a decision has been made?
1. Chapter 1

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

This is the sequel to "Mexico", tend days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks to my dear beta **Carol and Paula**, and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Ennis became used to packing things. I could start a business in moving furniture he thought, while emptying the small closet he started using only six weeks before.

Ten days were not enough for worrying, they came and went so fast. One to return home, one to talk with the foreman, one to close his meagre bank account, and so on.

Sometimes Ennis let his mind roam freely and wondered why he decided to call Childress only a few days ago.

What strange force took control of his mind and made him do something so potentially dangerous, so terrible for all those involved? But now his brain was against every attempt at rationalising the situation, so Ennis resigned and erased from his memory whatever Mexican trip he made, transforming it into a sort of dream.

That way, he could always pretend it never happened.

What was important, now, was the possibility to see Jack soon, to start a different life. One that could make him forget the divorce and its' bitterness.

Leaving Riverton meant a new kind of freedom, a place where nobody would point at him whispering "He's Alma's ex-husband, the poor cowboy she left for a better life."

Alma was surprised when he showed up at her house with $500 in cash as child support, partly from Jack and partly his own. Ennis told Alma he would be very busy soon but he refused to explain further; she wasn't a part of his life anymore.

He left the house muttering "See you later," and waited outside for his girls.

Ennis chose the Saturday dinner he was now used to spending with his daughters, to tell them he was leaving Riverton.

He was worried about their reaction – he feared female emotions like tears and maybe words full of anger directed against him.

He couldn't let them know the truth. Sometimes he couldn't know it himself, so he chose to disguise his departure as a work opportunity.

Ennis decided to let the girls eat before speaking, sure that two young girls full of hamburgers and fries would be less inclined to overreact.

The portions were large and Junior said hers was too much. She started noticing her body recently and puberty was transforming her thin frame. The divorce between her parents was a shock and she spent nights awake in her bed trying to understand why.

"Do you want an ice cream?" Ennis offered.

"No thanks Dad, that was enough." Junior answered.

"I want it Dad, can I have hers also?" Jenny was like a bottomless pit, Ennis thought, so similar to Jack when he was hungry.

He often imagined during sleepless nights, that if he and Jack could mysteriously have children together, Junior would be like him and Jenny a perfect Miss Twist.

"Yes you can, but don't tell your Mama that you ate two, promise?" He added with a wink to his youngest.

"Sure Dad, Mama always says I eat too much."

And she is right, Ennis agreed, looking at the way the ice creams were disappearing from the cups.

Time to drop the bomb.

"I've had a new job offer last week. A friend asked me to work in his ranch up in Lightning Flat."

"Where is it Dad?

"North from here. I think 3 or 4 hours driving." Better to avoid too many details too soon.

"He says it's a beautiful place . He's returning home after ten years away."

"You're going to accept?" Junior enquired. Ennis noticed she was quiet like her sister.

"I think so. I'll be his foreman. He wants to make changes and improve the ranch."

"So you'll leave soon."

"I think so, but I'll be back every other weekend to see you."

He didn't worry about where to stay during those weekends because Junior was tense and his goal was to leave without discussion. There was always the Siesta Motel for a night.

"And you could spend the summer holidays with me."

"They have horses?" Jennie's question was completely unexpected.

"Yes, and I can take my horses with me."

"So you could teach us how to ride horses when we visit you Dad? Mama always refuses saying it's too dangerous."

That had often been a sore point between he and Alma. She refused to allow the girls to follow Ennis' way of life. She wanted them to became city girls, not the daughters of a poor cowboy.

She insisted on music lessons from an old lady who sang the armonium every Sunday at church and owned an old piano.

Monroe, Alma's boss at the grocery store, gave her an advance to pay for those lessons. When Ennis discovered this, he went mad but Alma was resolute.

"Your Mama is worried about you, but I never hurt myself on a horse, I swear."

"Yes Dad, we know you're the best rider in Wyoming," Junior said teasingly.

Ennis was happy for the laughs that followed from both girls. They could make fun of him for the whole night if that meant accepting his choice.

He made a quick choice of what to take with him. The reality was that his belongings were few, consisting mainly of what Alma gave him after the divorce. The best was an old sofa and some kitchen tableware. Everything went smoothly and fast. Two big bags, a mattress, a selection of unbroken plates and glasses, a few cans of vegetables and meat.

The life of a man reduced to three hundred pounds of things.

The main problem was his horses. He talked with Joe Ferguson, a colleague from the ranch, who agreed to drive his horse trailer to another ranch, owned by Jack's cousin Peter, where Jack would be waiting for him. Then CB and Candy would remain for a few days in Peter's barn until Ennis could move them using Twist Senior's trailer from Lightning Flat.

Ennis was afraid to meet Peter Nelson, the first relative of Jack's he would have met.

He was as nervous as a young husband meeting the family of his bride for the very first time.

Jack told him twice on the phone to quieten down. There was no need for Peter to know everything about them; he promised to explain to Peter that Ennis was there to help him.

As a matter of fact, cousin Peter was twice the size of Jack and very friendly, happy to see his relative after three years and pleased also to meet Ennis, whom he recognised as a true cowboy like him.

His ranch was small but the barn contained a dozen promising horses.

"I've bought two new mares three years ago and now the results are coming." he explained Ennis while showing him the property.

"This year I'm going to show the horses at the Boulder Fair."

"I bet you'll receive lots of offers for them."

"I'd like to be a breeder but I need more space for the horses. Now that Jack is back we could talk."

Ennis agreed and the two men started a discussion about the virtue of race horses, to the delight of Jack who was listening. He thought it was a miracle to make Ennis talk with a stranger.

"If you need help for the hardest tasks at Uncle John's ranch call me – Peter told Jack later – I've two cowboys here and my Tommy is now 15, he can help too."

"Thanks Peter, I have some ideas, but first I want Ennis to see the place."

"Your ranch needs a good month's work to fix the fences, but it's a great idea to come home. Without somebody new it would collapse soon."

"There were too many problems in Texas."

"If you and Uncle Twist don't get along I could offer you a job myself." Peter told Ennis, who was pleased to receive a compliment from the stranger. He felt relieved, his fears eased a little.

"So you two met in '63?" Peter asked.

He seemed at ease talking about ordinary things, so Ennis decided to answer. Jack was faster as usual.

"Long time ago."

"Not far from here if I remember well?"

"Yes, herding sheep up on Brokeback Mountain."

The glance Ennis gave Jack hearing those words was one of longing for innocence lost, for a summer that flowed away too fast.

"Ennis, you must be a saint to manage my little cousin for a whole summer. Jack has always talked a lot since he was a kid."

"And still does." Ennis pointed out, caressing the back of his horses. Peter noticed.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of your boys. Tommy will lead them outside for a walk everyday. Now go home, Auntie Claire is so excited, she can't stop talking about her boy coming back home."

Ennis took Jack's elbow when Peter turned, leading the horses away.

"Her boy? Did you tell your mother about me?"

"Yes Ennis, I told her there was a friend but had no time to fully explain. I started with the divorce then she became worried for Bobby and I couldn't add anything more."

"Jack please I only ask for no more lies."

"I swear Ennis, I was going to tell her you were coming to help fix the ranch but she started talking about Bobby and how sorry she was for him. But she surely knows I'm arriving with a friend.

Jack seemed truthful so Ennis forgave him.

"I kept my mouth closed also 'cause I wanted to see you beforehand, to discuss with you what I can tell them about your presence.

"You can tell the truth about me being divorced and us being friends since '63."

Ennis was so honest he sometimes bordered on foolishness, but this time Jack was very careful with his words. It was a sort of miracle to have Ennis here and Jack wasn't willing to risk anything. Sometimes when he was visiting, he talked about Ennis with his parents, but John once said he believed that "Ennis" wasn't real.

"You had better meet my Pa first and then decide what to explain."

"Ok ok, if you say so."

"I'll tell only you need a change after the divorce and are a damned good rancher. Then we'll see. Now its time to go."

"You first, I'll follow."

TBC.

Please add your opinion.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 2**

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks to my dear beta **Carol and Paula**, and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Jack drove ahead of Ennis along roads getting narrower, following the shape of the hills that interrupted the platform of the plain. Nobody was on the road, they met only a black truck at a gas station.

When at a small crossroad, the asphalt gave way to the dust and they entered into a large depression.

Jack turned suddenly to the right following, for a minute or so, a small path along a dried river, whose banks were lined with some trees. He turned the engine off before opening the driver's door. Ennis copied his actions but remained in the truck, watching his man come toward him.

He was ready to speak and complain about the unplanned stop when he saw something serious in Jack's eyes.

Desire.

Hunger.

Love.

Jack approached the older truck and put a hand on Ennis' knee, feeling the heat from that strong body.

The other hand went to Ennis' shoulder and softly caressed the bones underneath the thick denim fabric.

Jack was looking at him and Ennis felt weak under that gaze, like a young girl facing her real first crush.

Ennis closed his eyes and didn't dare to breathe, it was intoxicating to have Jack again so close, to feel his touch and smell his unique musk.

A mix of man's cologne, the beer drunk with Peter and the peculiar taste of Jack's own skin after a long drive under the summer sky.

The hand on his thigh moved up a little, Jack's finger brushed against Ennis' crotch that reacted and became hard. Ennis tried to speak.

"Jack, we cannot..."

Jack's head inclined more to find the right angle and Ennis' - despite his feeble attempts of protest - lowered a little, until their lips touched briefly, sending a shot to their brains. Soon teeth crashed and lips became swollen while Ennis' arms moved to clasp Jack at his waist to keep him close, then closer, until Jack had to move back to breathe.

"We cannot what?" Jack asked seductively. "This path leads to the old mill, it is abandoned since the river dried."

Ennis looked briefly around – searching for proof of Jack's words – then grasped Jack's belt and opened it, not caring if the buckle was grazing his hand, opening the fly of the trousers, putting his hand inside in search of Jack's cock. His own was shouting so he grabbed and pulled Jack's ass until their crotches rubbed together.

Jack was more than eager to comply and with their trousers at their knees they started to dry hump half laying on the truck's seats.

Nobody was around, Ennis took Jack's face in his hands and in a low voice, full of lust, asked.

"Make love to me."

Jack simply nodded, words were impossible for the moment. Ennis wasn't a man inclined to express his desires with words, he was better using his hands, his eyes or his head.

During the years Jack learned how to read his lover's silence and although he would have iked to hear more that raspy voice, he accepted – as usual – what Ennis was willing to offer.

Now there was surely progress; Ennis had decided to follow him to Lightning Flat and Jack was sure his man wasn't used to changing his mind too often.

But it become impossible for Jack to think clearly while two large hands were massaging his back, forming slow, lazy circles that made his skin tickle. He was lying on the seats, seeing nothing but dark leather. The hands went lower, caressing the cheeks slowly, so slowly, reaching with long, expert fingers to find the pleasure point. Jack wanted to feel Ennis inside him soon, but he was not inclined to spoil the moment.

Ennis was touching the right places and Jack turned his head to have his attention. They kissed again, more frantically, trying to conquer each other's mouth. Both hard as rocks, Ennis worked first one, then two fingers inside Jack. They had no lube immediately available, so he didn't want to hurt Jack like their first time.

When he finally entered Jack, they started moving together, forgetting the world outside, Mexican trips, their families, the need for work.

What was important was to be together, to breathe together for a few minutes, to cancel the reality while making love.

Claire Twist was sitting on the front porch of her house with mending work in her hands.

She was waiting for her son like she did for the most part of her life, especially since Jack took root in Texas and had a boy there. Her patience made the wait less hard.

When Jack first left in 1963 for a summer as a shepherd, she was sure he'd be back soon after finishing the job but in 1964, when he headed for Texas, rodeo season and all, Claire started worrying a lot about her boy.

Now he was coming home - divorced and without work but not alone. There was a friend, Jack said briefly on the phone. Claire was deeply surprised; Jack was a lonely boy and had always been so, never bringing friends at home during junior and high school.

The reason was his father, he explained one day while they were chatting, but Claire felt deeply sorry for the sad youth of her only child.

Jack was afraid his friends could be despised by Twist Senior and he was sure he would be addressed with cutting words in front of them.

After a classic Bob Seeger's song, the radio gave the 4 pm sign and Claire was happy; her husband was working somewhere in the ranch as usual and she hoped to see Jack alone first, wanting to meet also his friend. She imagined it could be the famous Ennis Jack so often talked about, remembering their summer together.

Her hopes were fulfilled ten minutes later when a grey cloud started from south following the way of their private road.

Claire stood up immediately, throwing her mending work on the basket. The brilliant silver light became Jack's truck, a model she didn't recognize, bigger and more sparkling than before.

Jack went down in a hurry and threw himself into his mother's waiting arms.

It was good as always to be with Mom, she smelled of food, lavender and youth. His youth that started and died in that same place twelve years ago.

Ennis slowly left the truck, his eyes taking note of the surroundings; the small house with stained walls needing a good repainting, the barn – he felt in his gut that it was quite deserted, there were no usual signs of horses or mules or cows – the fields of dry soil.

Ennis spoke few words, but that didn't mean he was unable to speak with his eyes – Jack had lots of memories about this. He was there for his new job, he repeated to himself over and over, to forget what happened near the old mill.

They washed with the remaining water of the fountain outside the mill, but Ennis was sure Jack's perfume was impressed on his skin.

It was crazy and dangerous, but he wondered if somebody else could smell it.

Ennis took his time to make a mental note of what the ranch needed, while the couple continued their hugging. Jack was speaking in his mothers' ear and she was smiling, a genuine smile that stirred a long suppressed memory in Ennis' brain.

His own mother calling Ennis and his sister from the kitchen door at dinnertime, Mary running faster with her thin legs towards her to receive a big hug, while Ennis purposely ran slower and remained outside watching the scene.

He felt an outsider also now, Mrs. Twist was drowning in Jack's embrace, that man was taller than his mother and his arms easily captured the small frame of the older woman.

Not so old, Ennis thought, Claire was maybe in her early sixties, with hair still dark and beautiful hands, that were now caressing Jack's shoulder like Ennis used to do when they were together in the wilderness.

He felt a sting of jealousy because Claire had the right to freely touch Jack, it was mixed with rage for the confusion still inside him.

Ennis erased that thought as fast as he could, because it was a product of the voice that was still repeating him to run away from such a dangerous situation.

Time slowed, then stopped when Jack turned and looked at him with a expression so happy that Ennis' heart skipped a beat.

He never had never seen Jack so complete, so at peace with himself before. He never had never seen Jack at home.

In that moment Ennis understood that Texas was never – could never, nor with a wife, neither with a son - be Jack's home. Brokeback mountain was closer to home than Texas, but it wasn't the real thing.

Jack's words sounded like shots in Ennis' ears when he spoke.

"Come here, Ennis, this is my Mom. She wants to know you."

Ennis moved hesitantly, unsure at first, then suddenly worried about his appearance. He swiftly tucked the shirt into his trousers, passed a hand over his hair, holding his hat in the other.

He wet his lips with a flick of tongue, they felt like a desert, like a man full of fear.

"Good morning Mrs Twist" he croaked, wanting to offer a hand, afraid to crunch Claire's little hands in his strong grip.

Claire did it without hesitation and Ennis carefully took the proffered hand, feeling it smooth and soft.

His eyes lingered on the floor, too timid to focus into the grey-green pools that were looking for his face. Claire needed to see the man that lead home her son. Her dream was taking solid roots in front of her, this time for good, she hoped for this with all her heart.

"Welcome home, Ennis." she said leading them both inside the house.

TBC

Please add your opinion.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 3**

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks to my dear beta **Carol and Paula**, and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion.

Due to family health problems, mixed with the worst work time of the year, I hope to add soon another chapter, that is already drafted but need further work and to be betaed, too.

John Twist Senior was smaller than Ennis had imagined. He was a man with salt and pepper hair and blue eyes but not so deep as his son's. His entrance through the back door was silent and it went unnoticed by the group on the couch until Claire turned to take a framed picture of a young Jack from the small table on the right. Three pairs of eyes converged toward Jack's father and three mouths silenced and two men stood up quickly.

"Hello, Dad." Jack said tentatively.

During the long hours on the road he tried in vain to compose a short speech for that meeting. He always found difficult in the past to have a normal conversation with his father and the situation hadn't changed.

"Jack," answered the older man dryly.

Ennis knew Jack was meeting his family after two years; he wasn't expecting hugs and tears from Mr.Twist but did that man owned a heart or not?

"John, this is Ennis del Mar," Claire added and Ennis offered his hand.

The eyes of Mr. Twist became darker and lingered over him. Ennis wasn't a curious man but in that moment he would give everything to know that man's thoughts. Ennis didn't want to be scrutinized by Mr. Twist's gaze and got nervous, shifting his weight from one foot to the other until John Twist took his proffered hand and shook it.

Twist's hand was calloused and dry, while Ennis was sweating clammy.

It seemed the man completed his evaluation and decided Ennis was acceptable, sort of.

"Welcome Mr Delmar," he said briefly in a low voice, before turning toward his wife.

Jack tried again to speak.

"Dad."

"Later, Jack. Claire, I must check a horse before dinner." John added, then went out again from the same door. It was Sunday evening but the week of a farmer never ended.

The tension Jack was feeling in his gut disappeared as soon as his father left the room; he remembered also to breathe, because all he was able to do while Ennis was meeting the owner of the house was to pray God to avoid a fight between his father and his man.

Claire took Ennis's arm and gestured towards the large kitchen.

"Dinner will be ready soon. Ennis, would you like to come with me in the kitchen?." Ennis followed Claire like she was the late Ann Delmar.

Jack remained alone in the sitting room, he looked around and saw nothing had changed since his last visit; it was good to have a place that was immutable, he remembered how Lureen always wanted to buy new furniture for their house every three or four years, giving him the feeling he had changed house every time. His mother's sitting room was a constant in his life, where the only possible change was a new cushion for John's favourite armchair. .

Lureen...last time he saw his wife, her parents were present to discuss the divorce.

The memory was so fresh it could have happened the day before, not two weeks ago. He decided to face the problem as soon as he returned home from Mexico, so he asked the father of Bobby's best friend to keep the boy for the night, to remain alone with Lureen.

He was anxious, a part of him wanted to think carefully and find the right words to use with his wife, another part – the crazy one, always the winner – only wanted to get rid of his marriage soon and be free.

Lureen was home quite early for her standards, she seemed a little surprised that Bobby wasn't around.

"Dinner and night at Chad's house. I gave permission myself. Chad's dad will take them to school tomorrow morning"

"You're spoiling him." She said sitting on the bed and throwing her high heel shoes in a corner of their bedroom. It was one of her habits that annoyed Jack a lot. He wasn't a housekeeper, but after all those years he became more careful about his personal belongings. "Maybe because these things and this house were never really meant for me...LD wanted another husband for his baby, and only rented me this life, not gifted it. Some day he'd make me pay and that moment is now." He said.

"Your father does the same, too. He bought him a new plastic rifle today, but I've told LD I don't want to see Bobby playing with weapons."

Lureen was massaging her right calf, but she was listening carefully.

"I'll make a call later and speak with Dad. What's for dinner?"

"Steak and carrots...but I need to talk with you for a while before." Something in his tone made Lureen turn and she didn't miss the occasion to speak first, as usual.

"What's happening, Jack? You returned only two days ago, didn't make the sale you were supposed to do. You're a good salesman, it isn't your style …."

"I know Lureen, I lied about the sale because I needed time to think ... about a lot of things. To find important answers." It wasn't the real reason but he refused to talk about his Mexican trip with the woman who still was his wife.

"Answers that didn't help our business. Jack, you know we are under the quarterly budget and Peter Jones is at home with a broken shoulder...I shouldn't have let you go away last week."

"Lureen listen to me, please. I've understood that I cannot be a Newsome's salesman anymore. My life…our life is crumbling and I don't want to live this way for ever. You're not happy..."

"I'm absolutely happy.." she replied with decision.

"Happy at work, happy with Bobby, with your friends, but not with me, you know it."

Lureen's chin was now set in the I'-m-ready-to–argue way Jack knew so well, like the day they announced LD their marriage. Jack was a little afraid, remembering how she resisted her father that day and won his approval after two hours of discussion and her mother's tears. But nowadays he knew Lureen more than anybody else.

"You're my husband."

"I'm a in name husband only now. We sleep so many night apart I lost count."

"That doesn't mean anything, we have a son, a family."

"Only for Bobby. We're more business partner than husband and wife now, but you refuse to see the reality of facts."

"I see very well."

"And I remember well when you said you married me only to escape from your parents."

Lureen remained speechless for a bunch of seconds. It was true and she knew it, but she wasn't defeated.

"What do you suppose to do then?"

"I'm asking for a divorce, I'll leave Texas as soon as you agree."

"It isn't so easy to leave me!"

"Lureen please….don't use your pride with me. Do you really believe you can keep me here against my will?"

Lureen was pacing nervously the bedroom like a lioness in a small cage.

"Everything you have here is mine!"

"I know and I'll leave without anything, except what I earned with my own work. I'll leave you my half of the house…Sweetie please." Tears were making dark lines of wet mascara on Lureen's face.

Jack embraced her from behind and they sat on the bed. Lureen was shaking, consumed by a sudden rage that soon freed cold hidden tears behind her eyelids, tears that were creating dark lines of wet mascara on her face

"Shh…you're a strong woman and a great mother. The best for Bobby."

Jack wasn't surprised of his wife's reaction, during the years they spent together he learned the savage girl he first met at the rodeo was still deep inside Lureen, now covered by the mask of the saleswoman she become.

"Where would you go?" She asked after a long silence.

"My parents for a while, I think."

"Bobby?"

Jack took a long breath before answering.

"He'll stay with you. This is his home."

It was a painful choice for Jack, but he didn't have enough strength to fight for him against LD for the moment.

Lureen seemed more at ease now, Jack noticed her body was relaxed, like she was aware that their relationship was at the edge of a high cliff and that neither of them was able to avoid the last step that would make them fall.

"I ask only to see him three times a year."

"For me it's ok, the problem will be LD."

The name of the father-in-law was like a cold shower of reality.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 4**

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks to my dear beta **Carol and Paula**, and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion.

Due to a very hard time at work, I hope to add soon more chapters, that are already drafted but need further work and to be betaed, too.

No illusions, Ennis and Jack both were aware that their first night at the Twists' ranch would be that way. They had to sleep in two different bedrooms, separated by a stairway. Jack was in his old room on the first floor, Ennis was in the small one at the top of the stairs, close to the attic.

Claire had prepared the rooms with all the love Jack could have imagined a mother could have in her heart and show. All the details were perfect, a plaid at the foot of the beds, a glass for fresh water on the nightstands, a chair under the windows with the best view of the praire.

Jack was really exhausted. He left his dinner quite untouched and retired early for the night. He climbed on the bed like it was a mountain and slept fully clothed - except for his boots - until 4 a.m., when he woke after a confused and unpleasant dream. He could not remember it fully, except for the image of himself running through a forest immersed in a thick fog, so thick that it was impossible to see the trees. He couldn't slow down and was afraid to crash into a tree.

He lit the lamp and smoked a cigarette.

He felt so alone. After so many years with Lureen, he was used to having somebody near him when he couldn't sleep in the middle of the night. When she started using a guestroom instead of theirs, he began having problems sleeping and needed a drink to relax more and more often.

Now he missed Ennis a lot.

He remembered their only night in the motel near the Mexican border a month ago, and how hot Ennis' hands were when they roamed on his skin. But it couldn't be like that under his father's roof. Not for the moment, anyhow.

The room was becoming chilly, so Jack undressed quickly to get under the covers. His dick poked out of his boxers, hard. He fought the sudden urge to touch himself, because what he wanted the most could not be here with him and he was no longer inclined to use his own hand as a surrogate for Ennis. It was time for the real thing.

Claire showed Ennis his room and wished him a good night, but Ennis remained awake for a long time. He moved the chair nearer to the window and sat down, looking at the stars in the clear night. They were always the same, while he had changed a lot during the past weeks, in such a way he hadn't dared to imagine before.

He understood that the divorce from Alma freed him from the fictional part of his life, the one in which Ennis del Mar played the role of another man, trying to be a husband, a father and a lover all together, ending the play by inflicting confusion and hurt upon everybody around him.

When the chair became too hard for his back, he went to bed, but remained lying on top of it with eyes open, listening to the silence of the house.

--------

John Twist was a man of few words, Jack had always said, words especially harsh when referring to his only son, but Ennis wasn't prepared to drive with John the following Thursday all the way to Peter's ranch to collect his horses without speaking at all.

It seemed surreal, and although Ennis considered himself a quiet man, John Twist would be a sure winner in any national silence contest. Then, just as Ennis had started wondering if Jack was really his son – not a bundle found under a tree – Twist sr. looked at him, pointing his finger toward a small pool on the right – a nice place used as a reservoir, surrounded by a few trees and adorned by strange wooden sculptures. Their gazes met for a second and the blue in the old man's eyes became similar to Jack's, like pieces carved from the same stone.

After a while Ennis become more comfortable; words had been his greatest enemy in the past, maybe still were, although when he was with Jack he felt more relaxed and inclined to talk. During the first days at the Twist's Claire asked him lots of things; she was especially curious about his daughters, the right spot to make Ennis talk a lot.

The trailer hooked up behind the truck was making a metallic noise for every hole in the asphalt and Ennis made a mental note to ask Peter for some oil to fix it.

Peter greeted them with a broad, genuine smile - Ennis remembered he was a cousin from Claire's side - while his wife Margie offered them cool drinks on the porch. Ennis refused politely, his only desire was to be back in Lightning Flat as soon as possible with his boys, but John decided to accept the invitation and joined a long conversation with Margie and her mother Gloria on a comfortable bench outside the kitchen.

Ennis captured glimpses of their words while passing back and forth in front of the house with the horses to lead them to the trailer. He was astonished to hear John Twist talking so much. Maybe the man was simply at ease with those people and not with him, for the moment.

"...Claire is surely so happy, she always wanted to have Jack back. Every mother wants her babies around." Gloria said, looking at her beloved daughter. She lost a young son years ago and Margie was raised as an only child since she was little.

"Take another slice of cake, John."

"Thanks, Margie... it's very good. Jack should have returned here sooner, after he married. I wonder what did he find so interesting in a place like Texas."

"Maybe his wife…" Somebody added, but Ennis was already gone.

He placed Cigar Butt in the trailer and went back. He couldn't believe how much they were talking. They were surely Jack's relatives, but John was behaving in a strange way.

"….you and Claire hope to see the boy soon," Gloria stated.

"Claire better not hope so much, that boy never left Texas before...sure his other granddad is afraid of everything. He has lots of money and uses it only to buy ..."

Ennis closed the trailer, being careful to check the horses twice.

"Don't be so negative, it couldn't be that bad."

"Why not, Margie? Bobby has four grandparents and yet the Texans consider him private property. My son is so weak and that woman has him wrapped around her finger. Hey Ennis, are you okay? Can we leave?"

The conversation twisted to goodbyes and promises to meet again soon, but Ennis was a little startled at hearing Twist's words. Apart the opinion about Jack and his faults, Ennis never imagined the old man was so sad about the absence of his only grandson, but Ennis's and Alma's parents had since long died, so Junior and Jenny had only cousins and aunts to remember. And all from Alma's side, since he lost contact with his brother and sister.

He realised that family links were longer and stronger than he expected, and wondered how much Jack would miss his own son. After all, he had lived with Bobby during the last ten years. Was the sacrifice of leaving a son the price Jack must pay to be with him?

This was how important he was to Jack. More important even than his own flesh and blood. It was a startling revelation, one that made Ennis's stomach ache; he was feeling even more acutely the impact of the new life Jack was building here.

If they decided to settle in Lightning Flat, Ennis could see his girls easily, every weekend if he wanted to. They were not separated from him by hundreds of miles.

TBC

Please add your opinion.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 5**

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks to my dear beta **Carol, Paula** and **Sam ** and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion.

Due to a very hard time at work, I hope to add soon next chapter, that need further work and to be betaed, too. This one is shorter, but it's a family moment.

John Twist behaved so quietly after they took home the horses that for the first time Ennis doubted the reality of Jack's descriptions of his childhood.

That was the man who had beaten his son? Who had used harsh words against him? Who was cruel to a good wife and mother?

He wanted – more, than that, needed - to talk with Jack about it, but it was hard to find the right time. They were often separated during the days, working in different parts of the ranch. Ennis was determined to earn his stay at the ranch and insisted with Jack to help him and his parents.

Nobody talked about money. Jack was sure his father would pay Ennis for his work.

At dinner they always ate with Jack's parents in an atmosphere of silence, sometimes interrupted by a brief exchange between Claire and Jack. John and Claire seemed used to the silence; Claire preferred to speak with Ennis when nobody was around and Ennis - being himself a man who liked silence – accepted it too.

Jack noticed that Ennis was always cautious when his father was talking, a subtle change; as if he was readying himself for the next confrontation. Ennis was always braced for something that never happened, because as soon as the dinner was over John Twist said goodbye everybody and went outside to do his evening chores before going straight to bed.

On Friday Claire woke up earlier than usual; she was feeling hot under the covers and decided to leave the bed for the cooler kitchen. It was still dark outside, but somebody else was awake, because there was a soft light downstairs.

Claire found Jack sitting at the kitchen table, with a big envelope in his hand.

He lifted his head when his mother appeared on the threshold.

"Can't sleep."

"Me either," she replied.

" It's strange, but I missed this place a lot. Missed you too, Mom."

Claire remained silent. Her eyes were ready to spill tears but she promised herself that she would remain strong for her son. She had important questions to ask and could not do it crying.

"I believed Texas was good for you."

"In the end, there were always too many people around, at work, at home, my in laws...you know, Mom, at first I liked the confusion, the voices, the idea of meeting new people at every party the Newsomes gave. I was the rodeo boy, the novelty. Then I got tired of telling the story of my life to people over and over."

"You always liked to try new things. Remember in high school when you signed up for all the sports programs?"

"That was another me. I was looking for something to do, to be away from here. I ended up with an unplanned child. Now I've found what I want, no more searching around."

"You're planning to stay?" It was more than a whisper, a hope put into words that Claire was still afraid to imagine.

"Don't know exactly where, but 'round here. I need time to think, and Ennis too."

"Ennis has a family, he told me."

"He got divorced six months ago, his daughters live in Riverton. Alma left him with nothing but barely enough money for a one-room flat and two horses. But he's too proud to take charity, he wants to work for us while he's here."

"Your father needs the help, but John's also too proud a man to ask."

"Ennis will find a way, I know him."

"You've know him since the second summer with the sheep, haven't you? Before Lureen?"

"Yes, Mom, long before."

"Jack, I can't be sure because I never met your wife, only saw pictures of your wedding ceremony, but did you really love her?

"Maybe at first. I tried to imagine how love was... I was so lonely and she was like a long drink of water for a thirsty man. I was a fool, though. After meeting her father, I should have run away, but she pleaded with me, and Bobby came before I knew it. I bet she did it deliberately, because I never talked seriously about babies with her."

"You know, I'd like to see him, just once..he's the only grandson I'll have."

Claire looked at Jack with a strange light in her eyes, the way she spoke about the "only grandson" was somehow definitive, irrevocable, a sort of admission that there was no other woman who was meant for Jack.

"The divorce papers say I can have him for three weeks during summer vacation. I hope to bring him up here soon." Jack sometimes thought about the pain that his parents might have felt at never being able to meet Bobby, their only grandson, but he never had the strength to discuss the matter with Lureen. In Texas, the Twists were considered as not socially acceptable people, not eligible to be invited to a barbeque at the Newsome mansion.

Claire closed her eyes for a moment. It was a long awaited dream that could come true, to have all her family reunited under the same roof. And – in the strange ways only a mother knows - she understood that to have Jack around she must prevent Ennis' departure.

"We could give Bobby the room near the bathroom, after cleaning and painting it. Get some new furniture. We could change Ennis' too; he's sleeping in a small bed now, so uncomfortable. If you like I'll talk to your father as soon as possible."

"Thanks a lot, Mom, Ennis would be happy to help and we could surely buy new beds. For him and Bobby." For the moment it was what Jack was hoping for. The future, like having his own house with Ennis, could wait.

"If my boys are happy I'll be the luckiest woman in the world."

"I love you, Mom," Jack said, standing up to place a kiss on the top of Claire's head, smelling her familiar scent.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 6**

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks to my dear beta **Carol, Paula** and **Sam ** and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion.

I'm very happy to be able to post a new chapter, but me and betas had some problems during this summer. A new Ch. For Bluebells and Roses is very near, too!

Ennis and Jack spent next the Sunday afternoon riding Ennis' horses toward the western border of the ranch. For lunch, Mrs Twist cooked one of her most elaborate meals ever- roast, potatoes, salad, a soup made of pumpkin, chicken wings and a berry pie - happy to see all the food disappear into her men's mouths.

Jack noticed Ennis was particularly quiet - often not a good sign in a man like his - and tried to behave as usual, doing light chatting and asking small questions during the first half hour of their ride.

Ennis answered only with "yes" or "no," but appeared to be comfortable. They reached the top of a hill and stopped to let the horses drink from an old bath full of water.

Ennis dismounted. He sighed.

Jack was unable to resist any more.

"Is something bothering you?" He asked in a tone he hoped sounded normal, hiding his doubts in a deep part of his mind.

"Some days ago I was listening to your relatives; they were talking about you and Bobby. If you are gonna live here, it means without him, am I right?"

"Technically, yes."

"You're going to miss him?"

"I think so, like you with the girls."

"But it's different, they're girls, they must stay with their mother."

"While Bobby is a boy..."

Ennis nodded, but this confrontation was going nowhere, Ennis sudden realised.

"I don't believe you wouldn't want them here! There's no difference between sons and daughters, Ennis, we love them the same."

"Yes, but it was Alma who took the girls away, while you left Bobby on your own."

"I know, it was very painful, but LD'd never give me my boy. I had to make a hard choice and to have Bobby with me was impossible for now."

"I feel I'm the reason you abandoned your only son."

"You aren't. I was the reason. I left Texas, my life and its hundred mistakes. Bobby wasn't one of them, but he's the price I have to pay."

"It will be hard. For you both."

"It already is, Ennis. I can only hope to see him early this summer." Jack's face was painful to see while he was talking about his son.

"Jack, if you want to change your mind I'll leave immediately. "

"Change your about ..us? "

"About Bobby, or here, or me…promise me that you'll tell me, Jack."

"I don't want to change my mind, I've waited more than 10 years to make this choice."

Jack's voice rose and the veins on his neck tensed. He turned and reached the nearer fence, kicked it twice then he let his weight rest upon it. The old wood creaked and groaned under the rough treatment.

Ennis remained in his spot for a few seconds, hoping to see Jack turn back toward him.

When he realised his man was pissed off, he went up to Jack and put a hand on his shoulder. Nobody was around and he hoped Jack didn't think the absence of people was the only reason for doing it. Jack had no reactions, so Ennis spoke.

"Jack, please!"

"You're not getting the point, Ennis," Jack said, now facing his man. His greatest fear was a that Ennis would break down, or that he'd make a sudden escape, or that there would be a harsh discussion between them or with his father. Jack was trying to be cautious, to avoid the risk of triggering Ennis' fears.

"I'm so afraid sometimes, I need you to make me see everything."

"You cannot be always afraid, we are grown up men."

"I'm only a stubborn cowboy, I never travelled so far from home…. It's all so new for me. Forgive me."

Jack placed a hand on Ennis's arm, he didn't expect such a declaration of vulnerability from a true cowboy.

"We could have a family here."

"It'a dream, Jack, we live under the same roof as your parents, how can you even think about living with me?"

Ennis didn't' noticed the sparkle in Jack's eyes in time. If he had, he would never have said those fateful words.

"There is an old house about 3 miles from mine. Uncle Harold lived there with his young wife before moving to a bigger home. Ma says their father built it, it's small but still has a roof on it. Maybe tomorrow we could go and check it. "

His last words lingered in the air. It was maybe too soon to introduce Ennis to new projects, but he wanted to give him time to reflect about them.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 7**

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks to my dear beta **Carol, ** **Sam ** and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion.

I'm sorry for the delay, but both me and Sam had various problems last month.

Next Tuesday.

Jack and Ennis didn't visit the old house the day after, or the next. They worked hard for two days, then Tuesday at noon Thomas Everett telephoned to repair the tractor. He was available only the following Friday, when Jack and John were scheduled to meet the bank manager to discuss about a a new rent.

John was eager to visit the bank.

He was well aware that the ranch and the house were in bad condition and he had to make a lot of repairs, if he wanted to continue living there. He simply needed money. The presence of his son, more used to discussing incomes and finance, was good and John decided to take advantage of it. Furthermore, although his old problems with Jack were still present, he recognized the spark of life in Claire's eyes at having Jack at home again.

Now they were trying to solve their immediate problem at the lunch table, while Claire pretended to be busy with the oven.

"You should stay here…" John began, without completing the sentence. The truth was that Jack was the guarantee of the operation, especially thanks to his newly opened bank account with a five figure balance …transferred from Texas.

John hated to admit – to himself or anyone else - the importance of Jack's presence, but he was old and wise enough to cope with it.

"But I need to talk to the bank teller about my life insurance."

It was a half lie, because Jack closed and cashed it his life insurance before leaving Texas to have his money back; he had a plan that was going well.

"So we must reschedule the meeting." John concluded.

"Well, Ennis could stay here and wait for Thomas," Jack offered, trying to sound as normal as possible. It would be the first time that Ennis would meet someone in Lightning Flat other than Jack's relatives. Against his desire and his natural curiosity, Jack knew too well that Ennis should meet Thomas alone; he knew that Ennis could manage just fine on his own. Surely Ennis was qualified to talk about equipment, engines and spare parts.

John gave Ennis a quick glance. The man hadn't spoken a single word after Thomas' call. "It's a Ford tractor. Have you ever seen one?"

"Five or six Fords and an old Chubb."

"If you really want to assist Thomas, be careful, he always tries to sell you a new one instead of repairing it."

"Like every other dealer, Mr. Twist," Ennis added, conquering another step toward the old man.

"So it's decided, let's eat now." Claire said, putting the meat pie on the table.

On Friday, while he was waiting for Thomas, Ennis was thinking about the old reservoir, how to fill it again and have more water to irrigate the fields.

He saw Thomas approaching half an hour later; he was now standing by the window, pretending to read an old magazine somebody had left on a chair. He had hoped for a delay, a sudden change of schedule, but Thomas was as punctual as the tax officer.

That evening, Ennis realised how tired he was only when he went to bed. After helping Thomas Everett with the engine, he had noticed one of the tyres of John's truck was dangerously low ; he didn't find the spare tyre and Claire couldn't help him. So Ennis cleaned the dust and grease off himself before taking the damaged tyre to Phil Garrison's garage on the interstate, where the Twists had had an open account for many years.

Phil was curious to see a stranger with something belonging to a Twist - Ennis later discovered Claire had called the garage in advance – but Ennis purposely kept his mouth shut.

It was enough for him to meet somebody new once a day.

When he returned home, Claire asked him to cut down an old apple tree and to chop the wood.

The tree was at the end of the orchard and was larger than the others, his bare arms were a stain in the middle of green leaves. The task became harder than Ennis expected; first he had to cut the branches, then the trunk, hut he didn't expected what Claire required of him.

"Ennis, if you can uproot the roots I'll have more space to add new plants."

"But it's not necessary, Mrs Claire, the roots will rot in the ground."

"My father always said the best idea is to cut everything."

"I could cut the trunk at ground level so it will be easier to move around."

"But if you could do what I ask…"

Ennis was nervous now, he didn't imagine Mrs. Twist could be so insistent in her wishes.

Maybe Jack was more like his mother than he previously imagined.

"I could ask Jack to help me with the spade as soon as he comes home."

"It isn't difficult, John always use the tractor, he puts a strong rope around the trunk, turns the engine on and it's over."

Ennis wanted to object that the tractor had been repaired only 5 minutes before, that he had seen a man once turn himself over during a similar attempt on a ranch, that the old idea of using arms and spade was the best, but Mrs. Twist was hard as a rock.

So he took the tractor's key again from its rack in the barn and went looking for the strongest rope on the whole ranch.

He kept on cursing himself for being so weak with a woman. _She's like my mother, when they set their minds on something, nobody will make them change it… they're all the same_.

He positioned and tied the rope, using also a large branch that was still attached, verified Claire's approval of his technical skill and jumped on the small black seat. _God, make this old pig work, for once, please._

The tractor moved and Ennis checked behind his back; the rope tensed, the engine roared, Claire smiled. Ennis gave it more gas, ready to get down and push down the damned tree with his own hands. It wasn't necessary, the tractor in the end lifted the tree easily, but just as Ennis was about to stop it, a cloud of dark smoke erupted from the engine.

Claire retreated immediately into the kitchen. Ennis remained immobile until - a few minutes later - Jack's truck appeared from the south corner of the house. Jack was ready to greet Ennis when he saw his friend nestled on the seat with the wheel still in his hand.

Jack parked the truck and approached. Stormy clouds were running over Ennis' face. Jack was afraid his father would make a mess, shouting at his friend or worse. John Twist remained inside the truck, looking first at Ennis, whose face became more and more sad, then at the tree.

"I bet my wife asked you to do it," John told Ennis. He obtained a nod only. "It's the same old story. Claire says roots aren't good and she always wants to destroy them."

Ennis turned toward Mr. Twist, meeting his gaze. "I'm going to chop this wood before dinner," he admitted in a defeated tone.

"That's a good idea, Jack could help you, too. I'll feed the pigs."

Jack and Ennis were soon left alone in the orchard, face to face.

"I was afraid my father…" Jack started.

"Shut up, Jack!"

"Ennis, I…"

"Your father here, your father there, I'm tired of this story. I have to do what he wants, what your mother wants, what you want, never what I want. I'm not a mule."

He turned and headed for the barn.

Jack remained where he stood. This was the first fight between them since they had arrived there, what if Ennis had a breakdown and really wanted to go away? Jack blamed himself for being so confused and weak, he wanted to follow Ennis but was afraid to say something that might prove more dangerous for them. From past experiences he knew his man preferred to stay alone when angry, so he leaned on a fence nearby and waited.

His patience was rewarded 10 minutes later, when Ennis came out with a double saw. "You can help me get rid of this. I don't want to see it anymore, I'd like to burn it tonight."

The mood was surely better.

"Sure, Ennis."

"I was angry because Everett left only two hours ago and the tractor was perfect." Ennis was still transferring his rage from the real reason to a good cover.

"It's ok, Dad should decide and change the tractor. I could give…Everett another call."

Jack bit his tongue, he was going to say he could pay for a new tractor but money was still a sore point between him and Ennis.

TBC

Please add your comment, thanks.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 8 **

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks to my dear beta **Carol, ** **Sam ** and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion.

A week later.

Ennis was in a dark room, the only light a small window near the ceiling.

It was damp inside, he was sweating profusely when he felt the hot breath of somebody on his neck.

He turned, trying to see who it was, but it was impossible. What little light there was, was coming from an intermittent source.

Then a hand touched his bare arm.

Ennis jumped at the sudden contact and also at the male voice that started calling his name with a strange accent. It wasn't a voice he could recognize, but it was so similar to his father's.

The light started to grow and he discovered the room had white walls, partially covered by coloured plaids. There were two men inside with him, one was looking out through the door, the other was half lying on a bed. The first man closed the door and approached Ennis.

"We are ready."

"What?"

"Senor, we are here for you," the man said, touching Ennis' cheeks, who lifted his arm defensively to repel the unwelcome contact.

Ennis noticed the man was very young, with long black eyelashes that matched his dark eyes. His complexion was olive and greasy, his lips were full, like those of women.

The other man started unbuttoning his trousers, he wore no underwear and revealed a full erect penis.

The first man took Ennis' hand and placed it on his own crotch. "Do you like it, senor? We can have you as you like, top or bottom."

"I don't want anything!"

"We are here for you, your friend paid us for the whole night."

"I don't have friends!"

"No? El senor Charles Del Mar gave us a lot of money." He spoke the name with a perfect accent.

"My father? It's impossible. He's dead. It's a bad joke."

The second man got up and took Ennis from behind by the waist, trying to lead him to the bed.

Ennis reacted and started kicking everywhere, but the other two were stronger than him. He scratched and bit faces and arms, wanting to escape, but in the end they tied him to the bed. Ennis tried to freed himself from the ropes that were making deep wounds on his wrists.

Now he was terrified, because both men were naked and the first was unbuttoning his shirt, while the other was touching himself. Ennis had to endure being touched everywhere. He tensed when e felt two hands on either side of his face. A head was slowly descending toward him.

At the first contact of cold lips on his own Ennis woke up screaming and shaking, sheets and pillows tangled on the floor.

His breathing was so heavy he didn't hear the sound Jack made opening the door and entering, followed soon by Claire. Jack was dressed in only a pair of jeans, while Claire had on a blue dressing-gown over a night dress. She was the portrait of anxiety and approached the bed to hug Ennis, who was so upset from the dream that his first reaction was to keep her at arm's length.

But Claire was all sweetness and maternal care, just the opposite of his dream.

Jack had the painful desire to touch Ennis in the same way, although he knew it was strictly forbidden. He expressed his concern with words. "You were yelling like something was attacking you"

"It was a bad dream."

"Dreams pass swiftly, dear boy." Claire stated, keeping one of Ennis hands between hers.

"It should have been very bad, because you woke up the whole house and the barn!" Jack added.

"Sorry, Jack, sorry, Mrs. Twist."

"Big boys like you and Jack are terrible with bad dreams. It's better now?"

"Surely, Mrs. Twist." Ennis was still shivering.

"Would you like a cup of hot milk? It is always a good idea." Claire proposed. Ennis nodded, he was still so traumatized that he welcomed with pleasure every possible comfort.

"It would be a good idea if you slept in the armchair here for tonight, it's already 5 o'clock. " Claire told her son while she was leaving for the kitchen.

"I'll take a pillow from my room," Jack answered, glad to have a valid excuse to stay near Ennis.

"Here." Ennis picked up one from the floor and handed it to Jack, who wrapped himself up with a plaid blanket that was already on the armchair.

Claire returned with the glass and wished them both a good night.

"Please leave the door open, Mom."

"Yes, Jack, I'll tell your father everything is OK now."

"Mrs. Twist, thanks. Excuse me for the trouble."

"Don't worry, Ennis, now try to sleep for a while."

"I don't know if I can sleep again tonight."

"Well, I bet you and Jack have so many things to discuss if you cannot rest."

When Claire was safely in her room, behind a closed door, Ennis described to Jack the details of his dream, including the reference to his own father. He explained what happened to Earl and Rich many years ago and his personal fear that Del Mar Senior was directly involved in the homicide. When Jack heard about the macabre show Ennis' father had forced his young sons to witness, he clenched his fists so hard his knuckles turned white.

Jack started dozing off soon, while Ennis remained awake. He was too afraid to sleep, for when he closed his eyes he was back again in that Mexican room.

All his life he had avoided queers, he had been taught by his family that they deserved to be punished for their behaviour against God's will. The idea of being close to one of those men had been unbearable for him, let alone the idea of being one of them.

So when he met Jack his brain separated Jack from the rest of the world.

Jack was his private secret nobody had to know about or see. It was easy when they were up on Brokeback, or thrice a year amid the silence of the mountains. Then came his Mexican trip and the family he found at the ranch.

Now he was able to admit he and Jack were simply a couple, like Earl and Rich.

His dream was a revelation, he wanted and needed a man and that man had one name only. Jack Twist.

No one else.

It was Jack's fault, he had ruined Ennis for any other man or woman?

It was nobody's fault, Ennis told himself.

The awareness was like being shot for Ennis, but shortly afterwards he experienced a new sensation, an inner peace.

He wasn't angry with Jack anymore, instead he looked at the sleeping form in front of him and smiled.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 9 **

Finally a new chapter, thanks for your patience.

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks to my dear beta **Carol, ** **Sam ** and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion.

Jack entered the kitchen and took a chair, making it rattle loudly on the floor. Claire forgot the cake she was making for a moment, noticing that her son was very angry.

Jack had been on the phone with his wife during the last few minutes and from his occasionally raised voice Claire suspected the conversation hadn't been so friendly.

"Bobby 's nervous and LD uses it against me," Jack blurted out.

"What did Lureen say?"

"Now that Bobby's getting out of school for the summer, there are lots of problems. I should have figured that."

The possibility of Bobby's special visit to Lightning Flat was something Lureen had introduced the week before, during a long call when she explained to Jack LD's project for a long holiday with Bobby. So August was out of question, Bobby could visit his father now or in early September. Jack had deeply treasured the idea of a whole week, but knowing well his in-laws he had remained vague both with his mother and Ennis; he hadn't wanted to give Claire illusions.

Although Lureen was ready to let her boy travel north to meet his other grandparents for the first time, when LD heard about it, his reaction had been vehement. He wanted to speak personally with Jack before allowing his only grandson leave home, Lureen explained to Jack. Father and daughter had had a harsh discussion, Jack reported to his mother, in the presence of both Lureen's mother and Bobby, who didn't have any power in the situation.

Lureen said the boy at first was happy to see his dad sooner than expected, but since his grandfather was so used to criticizing the Twists, Bobby now imagined their home was a dark, ugly and dirty place.

"I think Lureen will give me Bobby, but I must go to Childress myself to face LD."

"I'd rather you stayed here."

"Me too, but if I don't go Bobby will never meet you and LD will win another round."

"It's a long drive."

"Awfully long, and I did it only a few weeks ago. I think I'll stay there a week or so before coming back."

Jack had tried to erase all the miles he drove during last month, to Riverton hearing about the divorce, then to Mexico and back to Texas, and finally another day to reach his mother. His body had been shaped to the seat of his truck, Ennis said that the leather of the driver's seat

now smelled like Jack's own skin.

"Does Ennis know?"

"I'm going to find him soon. I'm afraid he won't be happy to work alone for a week."

"He should be in the barn at the moment." Claire pointed at the old building, whose entrance she could see clearly from the window over the sink.

Walking from the house to the barn, Jack imagined two or three ways of telling Ennis he had to leave suddenly for Texas, but none seemed good. Better to let his instinct work freely, especially because Ennis seemed more at ease after the nightmare.

He called his man from the door.

"I'm currying Cigar Butt."

Jack saw an arm moving rhythmically over the large back of the brown horse, who was eating fresh hay and seemed very happy. If only life was so simple, Jack thought, a bed, a lot of food and the attentions of the owner…horses could be luckier than men.

"I was at the phone with Lureen," he started.

"Problems?"

"You bet! Not from her, but from LD. He wants to see me before letting Bobby come here."

"You can leave now if you want, we're OK here."

"You don't mind if I go?"

There were so many things Ennis wanted to tell him, but he was still waiting for the right moment. The embarrassment with personal matters was still a part of Ennis' nature. They needed to be alone together and he had a place to go for that purpose. "It's for your boy, Jack, I don't think you miss your wife, do you?"

"No, Ennis." Jack smiled. With the privacy granted by the dark building they could dare something more, just a little more, with words rather than with gestures.

"Promise to drive carefully."

"I'll call you as soon as I get there. And you can call me, too."

"I spoke with your wife once, only to find you in a Mexican hole."

"I'm sorry, Ennis."

"Jack, I trust you, especially after what happened there."

Bobby Twist of Childress, Texas, was fascinated by the idea of the long trip, the first in his life, and the first with his father, who was treating him like a man, not a little boy like Grandpa LD often did.

At a small drugstore where they first stopped, Jack bought two new cowboy hats and belts of the same kind for them. Since then Bobby proudly wore his brand new hat every time they parked for a coffee and sandwich break and when they spent the first night in a hotel he showed the brand new belt to the wife of the owner, a fat lady who offered him a big slice of cake.

Jack was driving happily, it has been a much easier task than he imagined; Lureen seemed younger than a month ago and Jack suspected the tension between Lureen and LD when he still lived in Texas was slowly eroding her health. He was happy to see her more relaxed.

Bobby was always talking and Jack imagined he was going to continue until they reached their final destination.

Bobby had started as soon as he saw Jack's truck approaching the gate of LD's house; he ran as fast as he could toward his father to hug him. Jack had never imagined such a display of affection from his son, he was instead afraid he would be forgotten very quickly, thanks to LD's patient work of making him appear to be a complete loser.

But maybe Bobby saw something else in Jack, the father who tried to play with him during the evening when all the others relatives were busy, the one who put on a band aid to protect a little scratch, the one who explained to him what was happening when their cat had kittens.

"Or maybe it was simply that Bobby was Jack's son."

Jack thanked God for the warm welcome from Bobby and for the second time in his life – after having committed himself to Ennis only – swore he would remain faithful to his boy, whatever it might cost. Bobby hadn't asked to be conceived and more importantly he hadn't chosen Jack and Lureen as parents, so he had the right to be protected from an overdose of LD Newsome.

"I had a good report card at school last time, I can read better now."

"You need to do your homework every day, Do you have the workbook. Lureen had insisted on filling Bobby's bag with three or four books.

"Yes, Dad, but Mrs. Fraser told me you must help me with my reading the way she taught you to do."

Jack had met Mrs. Fraser for the first time when one of her sons bought a grass cutter for their estate. The young man asked the salesman so many questions that he called Jack for help. When Jack entered the showroom there was a lady standing near the curious customer and she was soon introduced as "Mrs. Fraser, my mother." Mrs Fraser was a retired teacher with many years of experience with disabled students and could well understand Bobby's problems with reading words.

In spite of Lureen and her father's objections, Bobby started working with her twice a week with such quick results, that Jack partly missed having left Childress. Obviously the Newsomes tried to boycott the teacher, but her experience and her reputation in the whole county was more than adequate to help Bobby.

"Dad?"

"Yes, Bobby."

"Grandpa said he wants to go to Washington, DC in August."

"Your mother told me. It will be a long trip."

"Longer than this?"

"I think so, Bobby."

"How many states there are between Texas and Washington?"

Jack cursed himself for his ignorance in geography. If Bobby wanted some info about the states from Texas to DC he was the least qualified American to do so.

Looking for a way out of the trap, he pointed at a semi passing them on the other side of the road.

"Look at that big eighteen wheeler, Bobby!"

"Wow Dad, it's so huge. How they can drive such a long thing?"

"When you're sixteen I'll teach you."

"Grandpa wants to rent a big camper and we'll sleep in it, every night. He said he'll show me how to drive."

Jack felt the usual rage toward his father in law, the same old attitude of buying people's affection with gifts, and now this idea for the holidays; Bobby and his maternal grandparents together for a whole month crossing half the nation. He hoped Bobby would liked Grandma Claire and maybe want to return to Wyoming in early September, he would be very happy to drive the same road again.

TBC

Please add your opinion, thanks.


	10. Chapter 10

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 10 **

Here it is a new chapter, thanks for your patience and thanks a lot to my Beta **Sam**, who edited this chapter very fast. Sorry for the delay, but as people who read "Bluebells and Roses" already know, we lost dear Aunt Carla a week ago, due to post surgery ictus. So I'm busy with too many things to do also for Mum.

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks again to my dear beta **Carol, ** **Sam ** and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion

Bobby's nervousness increased during the late afternoon and Jack stopped at a motel for the night. The place was cozy and friendly - the price unfortunately high - but Jack wanted Bobby to feel at ease. He took his son to the biggest burger restaurant in the county, as the sign full of blue and green lights promised.

There was another one with a red light but he purposely avoided it.

Bobby ate all his fries and then slept like a log, while Jack remained awake until 3 a.m., rewinding his life like a film.

He missed Ennis in a different way now, not the longing for something impossible to have, but the plain absence of somebody dear.

He woke up in the morning with dark circles under his eyes and spent some time in the bathroom using some fresh water before calling Bobby.

As soon as the truck moved Bobby started asking questions about his grandparents. How old they were, was Grandma thin or fat, did Grandpa have a big belly like LD.

Jack answered, happy for Bobby's curiosity.

"You'll soon meet a friend of mine."

"Where is he, Dad?"

"He lives at the ranch now. He's working with me."

"Wow, I thought it was only you and Grannies."

"There are lots of cousins around, your grandma has a huge family. Just you and me are only sons."

"Should I remember everybody's name?"

"It isn't necessary, Bobby, just try to be polite to them. Especially my friend Ennis, he's far from his home right now."

"He's sad?"

"A little. He has left two girls at home, a little older than you."

"Oh! Are they far from there?"

"A couple of hours. Why do you want to know?"

"Because we cannot play together if they are too far away."

Jack remained speechless, the idea of Bobby meeting Ennis' daughters had never crossed his mind before. He himself had met the girls only once and for such a short time that he only remembered brown hair and porcelain skin, so different from Ennis', whose face had been burned by the sun working outside.

------

Ennis had spent the entire week without Jack working 12 hours a day. He was the first to wake up, very early in the morning, started the coffee pot for Claire, entered the barn to check and feed his boys, then took his old truck – every time thanking God the engine started – to reach the place where he had finished his task the day before.

It was easy to forget the thought of working like a mule for John Twist; it wasn't the right time to worry about those trivial problems, because he had to send Alma the normal monthly child support in a few days.

When Ennis was back from the horses, Claire would be waiting for him outside the kitchen with a metallic lunch box full of ham and cheese sandwiches and some small cakes, because Ennis would be back only for dinner. She felt that her guest was purposely avoiding her husband as much as possible, but she couldn't really blame him.

The long working hours weren't heavy for Ennis, except for a strange ache, just in the middle of his chest. He fought with himself the whole week to erase Jack from his mind, refused to wait for a telephone call, avoided to mention Jack's name with Claire.

She remained silent, too, and the old house again waited for her lost soul.

Ennis and John would talk for a few minutes after dinner, when they were both smoking a cigarette on the front porch. Their brief conversations were to discuss what to do tomorrow; John was pleased to notice Ennis' skills and his silent attitude.

John found himself staring often at Ennis' back when he walked across the garden to close the barn doors and for a moment he wished Ennis was his son, not Jack, who always spoke too much for his own good, who was never at ease with his father or inclined to spend his life on the ranch like two generations of Twists had before him.

John Twist well remembered when he had been younger and had owned more than three times the animals that he did now, cows which pastured in fields greener than today, when the reservoir was full. And the barn, too, with his beloved horses. John had had to give the last two, Thunder and March, to Peter four years ago. March had been Jack's favourite when he was a boy and he had lived to be 18 years old.

He hoped now to buy back March's two surviving offspring and maybe also a couple of mares. His aim was to work with his nephew in the breeding horse program, maybe with the help of Ennis.

So the week flowed away fast, faster than Ennis expected. On Sunday morning he found Claire already in the kitchen; butter and flour mixed on the table, a row of eggs ready to be broken. Claire smiled when he entered and offered a hot breakfast. "There's a cup of coffee for you by the sink and a plate of eggs and bacon on the stove."

"Thanks, Mrs. Twist, but it's too much for me."

"Don't joke with me, Ennis Del Mar, you must eat a lot today or Jack will think I'm starving you."

Jack was due to return on Sunday, four days of travelling and three with Lureen.

When Jack had called home excited on Saturday afternoon, saying that Bobby was travelling north with him, the phone slipped from Claire's hand; she'd started crying and Ennis had been so confused he was only able to wish Jack a good night.

He ate half of the bacon and two eggs while Claire was describing the cream and almond cake she was making for Jack. It was for Bobby, they both knew, Jack had never been partial to almonds or nuts, but Claire tried to cover her fears and nervousness by busying herself in the kitchen.

"Yesterday afternoon John went to town to pick up the new bed I ordered. Could you help me to take it upstairs?"

"Surely, Mrs. Twist."

"When will you be finished with your horses?"

"I'll be back in half an hour."

"The bed is still on the truck; John will be downstairs in a short while."

"I think I can do it alone."

Late in the afternoon, Claire was the first to hear the truck from the open window; her pulse accelerated but she remained at the kitchen table. She wanted to see Bobby so much but she didn't want to scare him.

Two doors closed, one opened and Jack's voice was calling her from the hall. Claire swiftly dried her sweaty hands on a towel, tidied her hair in the mirror hanging on the wall and answered. "I'm coming, Jack."

"I have a surprise for you. Where is everybody?"

"Your father is feeding …."

She stopped, seeing her grandson beside his father.

Dark hair, like Jack.

Blue eyes, like Jack.

Jack's jaw, Jack's ears, and Lureen's nose, if the pictures of the wedding were right.

"Good morning Grandmother Twist," Bobby politely said.

"Good morning, Robert."

"Bobby, please."

"Good morning, Bobby. Are you hungry after your journey?"

"A lot!"

Claire had used the right key; a nine old boy and food were surely friends.

She moved to take Bobby's bag from Jack and leave it near the stairs before going into the kitchen.

Bobby looked around, noticing the emptiness of the sitting room, so different from his own house and grandpa LD's one.

So this was the ranch his dad always talked about, a worn out armchair, an old radio, Grandma Twist in a plain grey dress. It was all grey or brown around him. The brightness on his face faded and he turned to face his father.

Jack kneeled and hugged his son, it was too much for a young boy, maybe he should have waited longer before bringing him to Lightning Flat.

"I want to go home."

"This is home too, it's Daddy's old home."

"I want my room."

"Grandma has prepared a new room just for you."

"But it's so ugly, there's nothing here."

"I m sure your room is completely new. Let's ask Grandma if she put new covers on the bed for you. When I was young I had one with horses."

Claire entered with a plate covered with a flavoured cake and saw the boy's wet eyes. Jack put a finger on his lips to suggest silence. "Bobby, there is a big cake for you, do you want some?"

The boy nodded but also tightened his grip on Jack. Claire cut a large slice.

"You have to make up your mind quickly, because if you don't want it, I'll eat it for you," Jack stated.

"What flavour is it? Chocolate?" Bobby asked in a tiny voice.

"Yes, chocolate," Claire answered, thanking God she decided to prepare another cake following Ennis' advice.

They sat at the kitchen table, all eating the cake and drinking milk. The kitchen was better, Bobby thought, it smelt of food and wood, while the afternoon light made strange patterns on the wall.

"Your room is up there," Claire said, "so when you're awake in the morning I'll hear your footsteps and get your breakfast ready."

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 11 **

Here it is a new chapter, thanks for your patience and thanks a lot to my Beta **Sam**, who edited this chapter very fast. Too many things for me to do, these weeks.

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks again to my dear beta **Carol, ** **Sam ** and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion

Jack left Claire and Bobby chatting and eating a second slice of cake and went outside, walking around the house; Ennis' truck wasn't in sight.

He sat on his old swing waiting for Ennis, but his father appeared first. He had something small in his hands.

"You're back," John simply stated.

"Yes, Dad."

"The boy is well?"

"Yes, he's inside with Mom."

"I've got something for him," John said while opening the back door; Jack's curiosity got the better of him, and he soon followed John Twist.

Bobby and Claire were preparing the evening meal, the little boy was washing some potatoes. When Bobby heard footsteps, he took his Grandma's hand, wanting her attention. Claire turned, then bent toward Bobby to caress his head. "Bobby, this is your grandfather, John," she explained.

"Hallo, Bobby." John Twist hadn't remembered how short children could be. He wasn't a tall man, but he felt so big compared to his grandson.

Bobby behaved like a polite boy and greeted the old man.

"Hallo, Sir."

A new sparkle in John's eyes.

"This is for you." The man kneeled and extracted from under his shirt a black and white kitten, only a few weeks old.

Bobby took the animal and the kitten looked at him with green eyes and opened his mouth to show a pink little tongue.

The kitten had very small paws and John explained Claire it couldn't scratch anybody.

Jack, who was watching the scene from the door, saw a resemblance to the line of cats he once owned as a boy, but he told himself that black and white cats all looked alike and it wasn't possible to trace back the genealogy.

But his father surprised him. "Jack, do you remember the cats from our barn? You had Ball, Tiger and the one who always hid under the roof…. what was his name?"

"Henry, Dad, he was the big one who ate all the leftovers."

"Yes, Jack, he was under the kitchen window at every hour, hoping to get something to eat. You know, Bobby, I'm sure Henry became the biggest cat in the county!"

Bobby was busy caressing the young animal.

"Grandma, will this cat become big too?"

"Surely, dear."

"But he's so small."

"Because he's hungry. " Claire opened the fridge. "Would you like to give him something to eat?"

The kitten drank half a bowl of milk, then nestled over Bobby's belly while - both tired - they slept on the couch.

Ennis saw the scene when he arrived late in the evening. He stopped to observe Bobby from the hallway; the boy was surely a young version of Jack, he also slept like Jack, on his back with his mouth open.

"Ennis!"

Jack opened the bathroom's door and greeted Ennis with a quick hug from behind, that caught the other man by surprise. "You're here."

"Flesh and blood...and Bobby"

Bobby played with his new kitten after dinner; everybody was so excited they left the food quite untouched.

Jack relaxed, eating a chocolate muffin. "Bobby adores cats, but LD is allergic to them. Lureen had only dogs and red fishes when she was a girl. I had to give away our Lilly to a neighbour because Lureen insisted so much. Bobby cried for two days, but he was six and he soon forgot everything."

"He could have his own cats here." Claire suggested. "It's a female, so I imagine she will have four or five kittens every year."

"I'd prefer if Bobby could have all his toys in the same place."

"Jack, if you stay here it means Bobby won't have his parents together under the same roof any more." Ennis stated.

"You're right, Ennis, sometimes I forget that."

Claire dried her hands on the towel when Ennis finished using it, helping her washing the dishes like he did every evening. "Bobby, are you ready to see your room? It's time to go to bed."

Bobby looked at Jack, who smiled and nodded.

Claire led everybody – kitten included - upstairs, and Jack pointed at the newly painted windows of the hallway. "Ennis did them, he only just finished yesterday. And this is all for you, young man."

Claire opened the door next to Jack's room and let Bobby enter first.

Everything was so perfect – Jack thought – that the contrast with the rest of the house was jarring.

They had bought the best available modern bedroom for a little boy; Jack marvelled at how his mother and Ennis had managed to have everything delivered and set in time. There were also two large posters of horses on one wall, a green armchair with yellow cushions where Bobby placed his cat, a wooden horse under the window – suspiciously reminiscent of Jack's when he had been young – and a small new television on a writing desk.

Bobby noticed the gift and announced to his father, "Daddy, a television!"

"Sure, Bobby, Grandma wanted you to feel at home."

"Thanks, Grandma." Bobby gave Claire an impetuous hug.

"And since your grandma is not expert with these new things, would you like to show her how it works?"

"Yes, Daddy…here Grandma, sit on the armchair. This is the start."

Bobby pushed the button and the NBC sports programme started. Claire was following her grandson's movements with wonderment. She didn't care about the sports channel, her desire was to hug him and forget the last 10 years.

Ennis cautiously observed Bobby playing with the kitten the morning after.

He was unsure how to deal with the boy. They had spoken only few words at dinner; Bobby was too intrigued by his grandparents.

There was so much of Jack in Bobby to scare him; furthermore Jack had a new light on his face because his boy was there and Ennis didn't want to ruin the situation.

Bobby seemed quite shy during his first breakfast, asking Claire if he could keep Lilly the kitten on his lap and talking only with her and his father. Ennis wanted to say something, but words felt like they weighed tons to him.

He looked at Jack, trying to convey what he wanted with his eyes, but Jack smiled back and went on reminiscing about something from his youth with Claire.

Then Ennis realised Bobby was looking at him from the other side of the table.

He was attracted by the silver bracelet Ennis wore, a large band decorated with Native American motifs.

He had bought it in Riverton three years ago during the county fair, because Jenny had repeated for the whole evening that he needed a bracelet.

The morning light made it sparkle.

Ennis smiled again to make Bobby feel more at ease and moved his hand, so the angle of the light changed, and Bobby's eyes followed the motion.

Ennis moved the hand again, Bobby followed.

"Do you want to see it?" Ennis asked in his softest voice.

Bobby nodded.

"Here," Ennis said, tossing him the cheap piece of jewelry.

"It's heavy."

"It's a man's one."

"Oh!"

"One day you'll have one, when you're grown up."

"Only then?" Bobby seemed disappointed.

"Maybe not. We should see if there is a place where they sell bracelets for growing up boys."

"But my dad seldom buys me things, it's always Mom and LD."

Bobby became sad again.

"Don't worry, Bobby, I'm sure things here will be different. Do you trust me?"

"Yes, Mr. Ennis."

"Call me Ennis, first. So it's our little secret."

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 12**

Here it is a new chapter, thanks for your patience.

You know, I've been a little busy during the past weeks, because next Saturday. March 8th, me and my fiancée Renato will marry in a private civil ceremony.

We planned it last October when dear Auntie started having serious problems; we hoped to have the whole family around us, but it wasn't meant to be, as lots of you already know. Thankfully, Renato's grandmother, at 88, will attend.

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks again to my dear beta **Sam ** and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion. Please be patient for the next update.

With Bobby around, privacy become an impossible dream for Jack and Ennis.

They started waking up very early in the morning to have the first cup of coffee together. The morning light was often veiled by a sort of fog rising from the fields around them; Ennis tried to imagine what it would be like living in Lightning Flat during the winter season, with dark and cold all around the house. The loneliness, the sensation of being far from the rest of the world. And the snow, too, that would erase all the boundaries between fields, roads, pastures.

Was that the reason John became so harsh with people? That Claire's face was so sad? That Jack ran away as soon as he was eighteen?

He asked Jack's opinion, but the answer he received was more or less the same one he'd been getting since 1963: John Twist was a man who often beat his son and was inconsiderate of his devoted wife.

"Mom told me she leave him, she was raised in a strictly religious family who refused to acknowledge the idea of divorce.. My grandmother, the one who once lived in the old house, was Catholic, you know."

"But the way he treated you!"

"More or less the way your own father did you, Ennis."

"We were three children and sometimes you could escape easier."

"While I was the only possible sinner in the house?"

"Jack, you're not a bad man."

"According to him I never did the right thing. You know, when I married Lureen, he told me on the phone it would only last a few months."

"And he was wrong. It lasted a lot longer. But now he isn't behaving that way with you."

"Maybe because you're here. I don't know, but I think he likes you in his strange way. And since I l led you here, I can be forgiven for a while."

Ennis decided to visit to Riverton on the upcoming weekend to see his girls, while Bobby was staying at the ranch. He left with a quick kiss from Jack in the darkness of the barn, very early on Saturday morning.

He was back after almost a month and looked at the small town with new eyes; he wasn't a local anymore, neither a complete stranger.

Ennis recognized all the roads, the places, the faces, but the dresses people wore were different and so were the small windows of the shops on the main road. He decided to stay for the night at the Siesta motel, so changed from eight years before. The new owner had built another floor, painted all the old rooms and installed new bathrooms.

The entrance had been restored, too, and the new reception was covered with wood paneling in a perfect western style.

Ennis thought about asking for the same room, but quickly changed his mind. The past was in the old hotel and it was better to leave it there.

The walk from the main road to Alma's house was so printed in his mind that he imagined it would remain like that forever. He had telephoned two days before to alert Junior and Jenny, hoping Alma would accept his presence without too many discussions.

His youngest opened the door and seeing Ennis' frame threw herself in his arms. "Daddy!"

"Hallo, Jenny. Give me a kiss."

Jenny complied, twice, and called her sister immediately.

Junior opened the bedroom's door and behaved like Jenny did, only with a little more dignity and a lot less forcefulness than her younger sister in her hug. She had a towel wrapped on her head and smelled of herbal shampoo, some drops of water were still trembling on her neck.

Junior was beautiful, her skin like a rose. Ennis was sure she was taller, because suddenly she was able to reach the top of his chest. Some months more and she would have looked him straight in the eyes.

"Mom is at work," she told him happily.

"An extra shift," Jenny added.

"Yes, she often does them now. Somebody on the staff quit a month ago."

"Are you ready to go out?" Ennis wanted to leave the house quickly, memories were starting knocking at his mind's door and it was hard to keep them at bay.

"Sure, Dad, I'll brush my hair and change my shoes."

"I'll change my shirt." Jenny added, to remind him of her presence.

Ennis had opted for a whole evening out, so he left a brief written explanation on the table for Alma. He wanted the girls to remember the time spent with him as quality time. That's why he had changed his shirt just before leaving the motel room, choosing a new one Mrs. Twist had bought the week before. She'd insisted it was a mistake, because she'd thought Jack's size was bigger and now she didn't want to return it to the shop; Ennis hadn't had the strength to argue further and had taken the garment.

Jenny, always the observer, noticed it while they were eating dinner. "Do you have a new shirt, Dad?"

"Yes, sweetie, there's a little shop in the village up there."

"It goes well with your eyes."

"Haven't noticed before, thanks."

"Junior's eyes and yours are the same. Mine aren't, nor are . Mom's."

"Your grandmother Del Mar was like you, with green eyes."

"Do you have a picture of her?"

"No, we were too poor to pay the photographer."

"What a pity" - Junior commented – "We'll never see her."

"She was a beautiful woman, but she died too young."

"Dad, can we have a picture of you? I asked Mom one of your wedding picture, but she refused. I'm afraid she destroyed all of them." Junior's eyes saddened.

"I don't have any with me…."

Junior was ready to find a solution. "We can go tomorrow to the drugstore on the interstate …they have a camera. I'm sure. A real one. Not like Monroe's that will break at the next use. The school used the drugstore for the picture of the class."

So the next morning Ennis picked up the girls at 10 o'clock. Alma wasn't around again.

Ennis was curious, it seemed strange to have such frequent extra shifts at work. But he kept his thoughts to himself and let the girls comb his hair and adjust his black tie, rented by the studio for the photo session.

He wanted to forget the few times he'd worn a tie before; he could count them on one hand: his wedding day, the baptism of his daughters, his divorce.

The girls decided on two photos, one of Ennis alone, two copies, one for each, and another with the three of them together.

The drugstore had a real photo studio in a room on the first floor, with four or five panels for the background, representing a house front porch, a garden with a small fountain and various house interiors.

The owner observed with delight the girls fussing around their dad; he told them he was a widow with a teenage daughter, who had spent a few years with her grandparents when he was in the army. Now every moment they spent together was precious to him.

"They will be ready the day after tomorrow," the man explained.

"But Dad won't be here to get them!"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot work faster."

"I don't know when I'll be back." Ennis saw the disappointment on Jenny's face.

"If it's a big problem for you, I could deliver them in two weeks. I've been hired to be the photographer for a wedding in Riverton."

The girls accepted immediately and Ennis asked the clerk to take one more picture for him, of his daughters together. He wanted to show them someday to Mrs. Twist and Jack. Surely Jack had seen Junior and Jenny for a few minutes last month, but Ennis was sure he had forgotten their faces.

The man asked them to wait for a moment and went behind a curtain, coming out quickly with a smaller panel, representing a perfect crystal mountain lake.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Ennis left Riverton without his picture, but with a small bracelet for Bobby

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 13**

Here it is a new chapter, thanks for your patience. I'm back from the real Mexico this time, burnt by the sun and with lots of pictures.

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks again to my dear beta **Sam ** and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion. Please be patient for the next update, as I'd like to work a little on Bluebells and Roses, my other fiction.

Ennis left Riverton without his picture, but with a small bracelet for Bobby.

During the conversation he had with Junior on Sunday evening, his daughter asked him lots of things about the people at Lightning Flat. He described Claire very well, spoke a little about John and said almost nothing about Jack.

But Junior had other ideas, she wanted to know more about Jack's son.

"And the boy is still up there?"

"For another week."

"His mother let him."

"Jack and Lureen are having a friendly divorce, so it seems."

Junior kept on talking, she appeared very determined.

"Not like you and Mom. And he travelled a lot."

"Jack went down to Childress to bring him back."

"He's a lucky boy to have a dad like Jack."

"I'd do the same for you."

Ennis was now understanding the real purpose of Junior's talk.

His daughter had let him leave a month ago without problems, but now she was missing her father.

He had learned only a few hours before, from Jenny, that Monroe was becoming a regular dinner guest and that the girls hated when he was around Alma.

"It's quicker to get here than to Texas."

"Sure, sweetie, but I can be here very fast, if you need me."

"If Lightning Flat is so beautiful you might prefer to stay there."

"Don't say such a silly thing, Riverton is where my girls live. I'll never forget how beautiful is being here with you."

"It's the same for me, if only you could stay."

"I'm working up there, you know, and I still need money for you. But I could ask Jack if you could visit this August."

Junior's face changed immediately, she become the portrait of happiness at the idea of visiting.

Ennis wanted to bite his tongue because he had made the offer before asking Jack, but later he realised he was wrong to worry; Jack always said he wanted to meet his daughters.

Ennis was back early Monday morning. Claire was busy in the laundry and briefly told him John and Bobby were in town and Jack was working near the reservoir.

Ennis stayed in the house just long enough to land his bag on the bedroom floor and headed for the barn. He didn't pay any attention to the envelope with his weekly wage John has left on his chair – as he had since the end of the first week Ennis had been at the ranch.

Ennis mounted Cigar Butt and went north, searching for Jack, who was repairing one of the wooden fences surrounding the small pools full of water for the cattle. The sound of the hammer covered the hoofbeats of the horse and Ennis arrived nearby quite unnoticed.

"Jack."

Jack stood up suddenly, searching for where his name had been called from. After too many falls during his rodeo days, the hearing in his right ear was less than perfect.

Ennis dismounted and Jack ran to him for a fierce embrace. The happiness of their reunion was something that still had the strength to make his whole body tremble.

"The girls?"

"They're fine. And Bobby?"

"Very happy, Dad's spoiling him."

"Really?"

"Yes, at first I couldn't believe it, but Bobby's having a deep impact on him."

Ennis made a mental addition to the list of strange attitudes regarding John Twist. "Bobby is the perfect grandson," he pointed out.

"But he has two imperfect grandfathers."

"You'd never know. But Junior complains she'll never know the older Del Mars."

"I bet your Mom would've liked her a lot." Jack replied.

"You're right. I feel sad because she misses having a grandma "

"From your face, I'd say she misses her dad, too."

"How do you know?"

"Your eyes…it was like the light went out when you talked about it just then. What would you think about inviting your girls to come here for a weekend, maybe next month?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing, but it's your place." Ennis' eyes were shining.

"Ennis, I'm not joking…look at me. Yes, now you're happy again. It's a good idea, isn't it?"

"Yes, thanks, Jack. But what about your family?"

"They are becoming the perfect grandparents, don't you agree?"

--

Two weeks later, with Jack back from Texas after driving Bobby home, Ennis explained his idea.

"I know you drove a lot last week, but would you like to make another trip?"

"I don't know, Ennis, it was very stressful."

"It'd be shorter, I swear, only two days. I could do the driving if you trust me with your pickup."

Jack noticed Ennis was very interested in the trip idea and wanted to make him happy. "If you want to."

"Yes, Jack, oh, yes."

"Ok. And for how many days?"

"Only Saturday and Sunday. Your father should be able to manage alone."

"Where?"

"I have a couple of ideas, I'll tell you more later."

"Later" never came that day.

Jack tried again, during the following days, to make Ennis reveal the destination, but his man swam away like a fish every time he brought up the subject, so he realised it was a sort of a surprise and he was better following Ennis' lead this time.

On Saturday morning Jack found his truck already packed and linked to the horse trailer. He was more than curious but decided to play along and sleep - or pretend to - during the first part of the journey.

Sleeping wasn't so difficult, he was exhausted from the days of hard work at the ranch, but he was also happy seeing how their combined efforts were changing his birthplace.

He opened his eyes when the truck suddenly bumped over a hole and he saw, at the end of a dusty path, a small trailer he remembered well.

It was Aguirre's old office, the spot where had Jack parked his truck that day, where Ennis's frame had partially leaned against the wall. Jack turned toward Ennis who was grinning like a little boy.

Jack was speechless; so the secret weekend would lead them to a night where all started.

They were more than ten years older and surely wiser, so Jack forgot he was tired and jumped out of the truck, ready to free the horses and ride north.

Less than half an hour later they were ready to leave; the place was abandoned, Ennis said he had heard a few years before that Aguirre had returned to New Mexico, where he came from, because there were less sheep and shepherds to manage.

Jack was anxious to leave as soon as possible, the mountains were like a magnet for him. Ennis noticed his man had left the black bag of clothes in the back of the truck.

"Hey, Jack, wait!"

"What?"

"Forgot a bag…here." Ennis handed Jack the bag, Jack didn't even dismounted.

"Come on old boy, let's go."

"You're happy, aren't you?"

"You bet." Jack was smiling broadly.

"I had a good idea, right?"

"Damned good…should have thought of it before."

"I ..needed to see it."

Those simple words from Ennis meant so much to Jack. He was overwhelmed with joy and couldn't do anything but simply nod.

They rode in silence, following the old path, still in use by the hunters and the hikers. Ennis had heard people had started enjoying that new sport, but he couldn't image somebody liked to walk on foot for so long.

They both recognized the narrow bridge over the stream, the twin pines in a clear spot – only the trees were higher- but Ennis missed the final crossroads.

"Hey cowboy, it's to the left." Jack signalled.

"No, it's this way."

"You're wrong, that way is a short cut to the higher pastures, when you were late in the morning."

"If you say so."

"Believe me, we're close. Five minutes and we'll see the old camp."

Jack was right, and when they arrived Ennis soon started pacing the circle surrounded by woods, like it was a sacred tribute to the spirit of the mountain.

Little had changed. The spot where the fire had been was now covered by grass, the dry tree where they used to tie the horses was partially eaten away by insects.

Somebody else had set a camp there, nearer to the stream, because there were traces of human presence. Jack pointed at the four stones used as chairs and positioned like a cross.

"They ate there."

"And smoked." Ennis lifted the remains of two cigarettes.

"It's not ours only any more."

"Could never be, Jack. What about those who worked here for Aguirre after us? And before? You were one."

"For me everything started in '63."

"Me, too, but here is only a place where we can be together."

"It's important."

"What?"

"To be together. In so many years we had only two weeks a year, right? It's a short time."

"I know."

Ennis didn't much like the way the conversation was going, but Jack was right. In the end he had been the one who left first and chose another life. It was time to change.

"But it's better than nothing."

Jack turned, Ennis reached for him and wrapped his arm around Jack in a strong, virile embrace.

Later that night they made love surrounded by the silence of the forest.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Nearly a month after the weekend on the mountains, Jack was with Claire at Peter's ranch to visit Margie, at home after a wee

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 14**

Here it is a new chapter, thanks for your patience. Sorry for the long delay, but as many of you know, my father was in hospital for two months.

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks again to my dear beta **Sam ** and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion.

Nearly a month after the weekend on the mountains, Jack was with Claire at Peter's ranch to visit Margie, who was at home after a week in the county hospital for a broken arm.

Since John woke up very early that morning and wasn't around at breakfast time, Jack had to be the driver for his mother.

Ennis remained silent until they left; he knew Jack was due to call Lureen that day to discuss Bobby's next visit, and he preferred to avoid any comment.

During his morning chores he saw John on the tractor to plough a new patch of land behind the orchard, that had remained untouched for the last few years, because there was nobody to believe in the future of the farm.

Old Man Twist was always and only working, Ennis thought; he wondered why with so much work the ranch was still in such bad shape; it could easily become one of the best of the county. In his opinion it could easily become one of the best in the county, especially since the reservoir was a sure source of water.

When he heard a strange cry and the engine abruptly stopped, Ennis instinctively turned to look. John was bent over in the small seat, unmoving.

Ennis ran to him and saw he was unconscious, but his heart was still beating. When he lifted the unconscious body to took John home he noticed how thin he was.

Ennis walked fast and cursed the absence of Claire: she would surely something good know what to do. John regained consciousness shortly after they reached the front porch, and Ennis stopped.

"Let me go."

"You fainted."

"Let me go." John said with more conviction.

Ennis increased his grip and put John on the couch inside.

"What happened?"

"You were driving the tractor.

John was massaging his chest. "I don't remember…"

"I'm going to call the doctor and Miz Claire."

"No, stay here."

"I'll only be gone for a minute."

"Please…."

John as even more stubborn than won Ennis.

"Mr. Twist, you need to call a doctor."

"I know what's happening. Nobody else needs to know."

"But doctors know best."

"They're only good for killing people."

John tried to sit up but had to give up the attempt, feeling his head spin. Ennis helped him to lie down again and insisted.

"I'm going inside to call somebody."

"No, Ennis."

"I will if you don't tell me what's happening here."

"Ok …. there's something wrong with my heart, they say…my brain doesn't get enough blood sometimes and my head spins."

"Since when?"

"A year ago, the first time I fainted on the grass out in the middle of the field with the cows. My dog saw me and licked my face, woke me up. Then it happened again while I was working with a seasonal help. So I went to the doctor, he ordered exams and in the end he used those complicated words."

"And Mrs. Twist?"

"She doesn't know anything."

" That's impossible."

"She mustn't find out, Ennis. Swear it!"

"Ok, ok, if that's the way you want it."

Before dinner, Ennis - keeping his voice low - asked Jack if they could have a private conversation outside later.

Jack was curious, but accepted and as soon as he could, he wished his parents good evening.

They sat on a bench under the apple trees with a whole pack of cigarettes; Ennis needed their help to discuss the matter with his lover, although he was sure John had only asked him to keep the problem secret from Claire.

He took a long breath while Jack was observing every little thing.

Jack was trying to imagine the nature of the discussion…._he's leaving, there's a problem with the children, Dad insulted Ennis_ …. he was getting anxious as usual so he spoke first.

"So what happened?"

"It's complicated."

"Well, if you could begin …"

"I'm trying!"

"I know, Ennis, but please don't keep me on the edge."

"It's about…your father."

_They fought!_ Jack thought.

"A discussion?"

"No, we talked a little this morning."

"About what?"

"His situation. He was having a bad time at work and he fainted."

"What do you mean?"

"It happened, I helped him and after resting for half an hour he was feeling better."

"Did you call the doctor?"

"No."

"Why? Ennis, he could be ill."

"He wouldn't let me call anybody. He's well aware of his bad health, he consulted two doctors during last year, without your mother knowing. And he wants it to stay that way." Ennis took a breath after the effort of his long speech.

"You should have called somebody if he was suffering…" Jack started walking back and forth between the trees, smoking cigarettes one after the other. "He's always the same, never changes, never will. The most stubborn man I've ever known."

Jack was angry with his father, as usual, but also worried about him. Ennis hoped that maybe the relationship between them was still alive, somewhere deep down inside.

Ennis bowed his head in his usual posture and let Jack speak, it was best for him to shout, cry or curse, whatever he wanted to do. He had problems of his own with stubbornness, too, and didn't want to risk attracting Jack's rage toward himself.

In the end, he had been the one who had made Jack wait for more than 10 years and drive for thousands of miles.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Ennis became used to packing things,

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 15**

Here it is a new chapter, thanks for your patience. It's very short, but more will follow, I decided to post it because some of you asked if the story was blocked.

Plus, I'm adding soon to Bluebells and Roses and I've other works to develop.

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks again to my dear beta **Sam ** and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion.

A few weeks later, Ennis was due to go to Riverton at the weekend and fetch the girls, so Jack decide to give Ennis his truck.

The real reason for this decision lingered in the air without being discussed: both men knew the importance for Ennis to give a fresh impression to his formers neighbors.

The girls chatted a lot during the first part of the travel toward Lightning Flat, especially about school and friends, whose names were unfamiliar to Ennis.

He let them do whatever they wanted, because he was already nervous enough and didn't really listened to his girls. He tried to concentrate on the road.

When Junior, who was having female cramps, asked to rest a little on the back seat, Jenny sat up front and read a comic.

Ennis counted on Claire to support him; Jack's mother was becoming used to having young people in her home after so many years and so she spent the greatest part of Friday in the kitchen.

When the Del Mars arrived in time for lunch, Claire greeted the girls politely and introduced them to her husband. John Twist spoke a little at the kitchen table and remained mostly on his own. Ennis was now used to checking on him without being noticed, trying to see new signs of his illness.

The afternoon went smoothly. Ennis showed the ranch to his daughters before dinner; they had some time to walk together because Jack wasn't at the ranch.

After some discussion with John, who at first didn't believe in the idea, Jack had told Ennis that he wanted to start having horses again, like when he had been a kid.

Jack had asked Peter's help and they'd visited some farms around the county to see the available new stallions. So far, Jack had bought only three mares, but he was expected to return home this evening with the new purchase.

Jack arrived with two new horses – one of them a large black stallion - very late in the evening, when the house was already silent, so he and Ennis met near the barn at midnight to see the new horses and for the "last cigarette."

"You're OK?" Jack asked.

Ennis was smoking nervously, one cigarette after the other. "I'm better."

"And the girls?"

"Fine, thanks."

"It wasn't too bad."

"No...but."

"Ennis, please, trust me, it will be better soon."

For Jack it was a great victory to have Ennis' daughters at the ranch.

He put a hand on Ennis' shoulder, it was dark so Ennis accepted it and relaxed a little.

The burning cigarette caught Jenny's attention while she was at the window of her room.

She hadn't been able to sleep and the room was very hot, so she had gotten up. said she couldn't sleep, so saying that she woke up is repeating the same thing.) As her eyes adapted to the darkness, she noticed the profiles of her dad and somebody else chatting together like friends; and acting like it too, because friends would sometimes hug and support each other, she thought.

TBC

2


	16. Chapter 16

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 16**

Here it is a new chapter, thanks for your patience.

Plus, I've published yesterday y a short story called The Pines.

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks again to my dear beta **Sam ** and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion.

During her stay at Lightning Flat, Jenny was very happy to see her father was respected and appreciated at the ranch. Furthermore, Jack proved to be a real friend for her dad.

So when Jenny returned home, Alma had to endure a whole evening of ranch life tales. Jenny was so involved in talking about her new experiences that she didn't noticed her mother was getting more and more restless.

When she showed Alma the present Jack bought for her – a pair of brown leather boots –

Alma abruptly left the room and headed for the bedroom, closing the door with a loud thud.

Jenny followed her and knocked. Alma opened the door, her face dark.

"What do you want?"

"Mom, I was talking about Mr. Jack."

"Don't use that name in my house anymore, little girl!"

"But he's Daddy's best friend."

"He's not a friend, and he's not good for your father," Alma snapped. "He lied to me this time. He said Jack was in Texas."

"Dad never lies!"

"Oh yes, he does; men are all the same. You're too young to understand. But now it's decided; you'll never travel with your father again until you're of age."

"But I want to go back!"

"Shut up, I don't want to hear about it anymore. Go to your room right now!"

The next morning, when the girls were at school, Alma took the phone and dialed the number she had tried to erase from her mind since the operator had given it to her.

A woman answered, but Alma had expected to hear the voice of that nasty man, so she hesitated for a moment.

"Is this the Twists'?"

"Yes."

"I'm Alma Del Ma…Alma Beers. I want to talk with Ennis Del Mar."

"He's outside in the barn. Should I go and call him?"

"Yes, please."

Steps fading away, a door opening, muffled voices; then steps coming back, heavier.

"Alma! What's happened? Is it the girls?"

"The girls are fine. So am I. Thanks for asking."

"Sorry, Alma, I'm glad you're OK, too."

"We need to talk, Ennis."

Silence was Ennis' only answer.

"Yesterday I found out that my girls met your….friend. You told me he was away, so I gave you permission to take Jenny and Junior to Lightning Flat."

"Alma, he was away the first day, he came back early…"

"I don't believe you. And I don't want it to happen again."

"Alma, listen to me, please. I live here with Mr. and Mrs. Twist; they spoiled the girls for three days, and that was all."

"I could ask for a change in the divorce settlement. No more trips with Dad."

"Don't you dare, Alma. They're mine, too. I need to see them."

"You could see them here in Riverton instead."

"I don't want my daughters around your new affair…"

"What are you saying?"

Alma's tone changed.

"Junior told me you're more at work than at home in the evenings. She went to the grocery store last month and saw you and Monroe through an open door. Sitting very close together on a bench."

"You're not my husband any more."

"Yes, and you can do what you want, but if I remember rightly, Monroe is engaged to your attorney's sister. Does he want to keep the engagement on?"

"This conversation is over Ennis, goodbye."

"As you wish, Alma. See you next month, second Saturday. I don't know if we'll stay there or come back up here."

Ennis hung up the phone and turned; Claire was looking at him from the kitchen door. He realised she must have listened to his conversation and was deeply embarrassed.

"I'm … sorry, Mrs. Twist."

"No problem, Ennis, she used to be your wife."

"I get angry when she uses the girls against me."

"She'll forbid them to come here again?"

"No, I don't think so, but sometimes she hates Jack so much she loses control."

"While you…" Claire stopped for a second. "You like him a lot."

Ennis' expression became suddenly suspicious. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you're more than friends, aren't you? Like two people who really need each other."

"We met so long ago."

"I know, Ennis. But there's something so deep between you two."

Claire came closer and placed a hand on Ennis' arm. She felt him trembling. "Tell me the truth, please. It will be our secret, but I'm a mother, and a mother sees and feels a lot."

A whisper.

"Yes."

Claire hugged Ennis, who felt like he was reborn in his own mother's arms.

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

**Title: I Can't Lose You Again. **

**Chapter 17**

Here it is a new chapter, thanks for your patience. I've published also an update to "Decisions" today.

This is the sequel to "Mexico", ten days after its end.

Disclaimer: the talented Mrs Proulx owns the original story and characters.

Special thanks again to my dear **betas Jen** (thanks Jen for her first work) and **Sam ** and to **Onefreetoroam** for the title idea.

Thanks to all of you readers and to those who added their opinion

Jack was happy to know Claire had discovered his relationship with Ennis and was also pleased _**that**___had Ennis admitted it. It was like a part of his burden had disappeared. Now he could count on his mother to support and partially cover them with John.

The fact that Ennis and his father were a good working team was another positive aspect.

Jack never imagined somebody could exist for so long with John Twist, but a bond of silence and devotion to the ranch was now set between Ennis and the older man.

Claire told Jack that Ennis closely resembled Tommy Lanagan, who was there when Claire married John, but who died in a car accident shortly after Jack was born

Ennis' daughters spent a whole week in August at the ranch and promised to be back in early September, when Bobby would be there for a few days, too. So Jack had to drive to Texas to pick Bobby up again, swearing the whole time that next year he would be able to afford a plane ticket for Bobby.

He was a little worried because he, his father and Ennis were working with two carpenters to enlarge the old barn for their new horses. If he was away on the road for four days, he couldn't help and control John. He had gotten used to checking on his father now to make sure his health wasn't getting worse.

Jack forgot all his problems as soon as he saw Bobby. The boy was happy to meet his grandparents again, and Jack felt sure Bobby would enjoy the new Hi-Fi Claire had bought for him. Jack cursed himself for telling Bobby about the present because the boy asked questions about it repeatedly during the long drive.

When they arrived at the ranch, Jack noticed his father seemed pale, but Ennis swore he had always kept a vigil eye on him.

So Jack hugged Ennis and let him leave for Riverton the day after to catch the girls.

Bobby spent his first day at the ranch in the barn with the new horses, watching the building of the new roof. He wanted to be useful.

"Dad, it's ok if I clean the new mare?"

"Yes, but be careful, remember how I told you to do it, start from her head, then slowly…"

"Dad, I'm not a baby anymore."

"I know, Bobby, but you'll always be my baby."

He tried to grab Bobby who ran outside shouting "Daddy!"

"Ok, ok, I let you play with the mare, but don't be back with bruises…stay away from her legs!"

Jack spent the afternoon walking back and forth collecting wood. He was carrying inside two heavy pieces when he heard a thud and Bobby's cry.

He was back in the barn immediately and saw somebody lying on the floor, while Bobby stood immobile nearby. Jack kneeled near his father's form, a leg unnaturally bent, blood on the shirt; he checked the pulse, afraid to move him. John was on the ladder, thank God, and not on the roof. During his rodeo days Jack saw similar situations and was taught not to touch the backbones.

"Sam, call the doctor!" Jack ordered one of the carpenters. "Bobby, come here and keep his head still, I need to see the blood."

Bobby was like a stone.

"Bobby!"

Jack stood up and faced his son, who now was shaking.

He smacked Bobby lightly on a cheek and got an immediate crying answer.

"Bobby, look at me, I need you help, ok?"

Another smack.

"Bobby!"

"Ok, Dad." The boy woke up from his trance.

"Listen to me, Granpa's neck must be kept absolutely still, while I check."

Bobby helped while Jack controlled the situation.

Luckily, blood had stopped and Sam was back saying Doctor Marler was coming, so Jack instructed him to search for Claire.

Jack didn't leave his father's side until the doctor arrived.

He didn't know what else to do, he felt impotent again like so many years ago, when he stood near his truck while Ennis was walking away from him. His relationship with John has always been harsh, but the thought that maybe his father was dying in his hands was something terrible. Tears filled Jack's eyes.

Then footsteps were approaching from every direction.

First Sam arrived from the main gate, shouting that the doctor was coming, then Claire come running.

"John, oh my God!" She screamed.

Jack lifted his arm to prevent Claire form approaching too much, but she kneeled near her husband, took John's hand and started crying.

"I've already called the doctor, he's coming

"Oh Jack, he's dead. "

"No, he's breathing, I'm sure.

Jack kept a finger on the neck to check the signs of life.

Jack scanned around and Bobby wasn't any more around, thankfully. The reaction the boy had few minutes before made Jack hope Bobby was now hidden somewhere with the cat.

Doctor Marler arrived shortly before the ambulance; he alerted the local hospital before leaving his practice, because he feared for John Twist's health.

He saw Jack kneeled near his father and at first didn't recognize him, then he remembered one of Claire' relatives once told him something about Jack back home.

He knelt too, and prompted Jack to take Claire away.

"I'll take care of him. We're going to the hospital immediately."

The emergency room of the county hospital seemed crowded, although only three people were present. Doctor Marler left John—still unconscious—with another doctor and a nurse to speak a few words with Jack and Claire, who stood at the door.

They left the ranch in a hurry shortly after John was carried on the ambulance, Jack asked Sam to search Bobby and stay with him; Ennis was due to arrive tomorrow and Jack didn't want to think about it. He thought to call him and ask to be back immediately without the girls, but he didn't have Alma's phone number and a telegram wasn't fast enough.

TBC

3


End file.
